It’s a rule of thumb that when you are in a relationship all of your friends are single and when you are single all of your friends will be in a relationship. So you guessed it, newly single and absolutely everyone I knew was married. Well almost everyone. I had one amazingly, awesome, single friend. (I will call her Tilly.)
On Thursday nights, because in Doha the weekend is Friday/Saturday, we would dress up ( and I mean dress up) and we would find somewhere noisy to drink our cocktails.
On one particular Thursday night, we decided we were going to pretend we were in a band. A very cliched band. We wore skin tight leather pants, grunge tops and fake glasses. I was naturally the singer and Tilly was the drummer.
After very blustery drinks at the sky view bar we made our way to Paloma Nightclub. We strolled, because people in bands stroll, over to the bar and before we had even reached the bar half a dozen people had asked to buy us a drink. But it wasn’t until we got to the bar that we acknowledged our pursuers.
That night we made friends with guys from South Africa. There were two of them but I only really have a recollection of one of them. He told us his ‘skateboard name’ was Booby Scooby. Clearly made up, but then again, so were our aliases. We spent the night dancing with our new friends and at the end of the night we didn’t want the night to end. However it’s not what you might think.
Yes we went back to their room, but we went to see their skateboard. I swear!
Turns out that not everyone has a fake name and identify because they did indeed have a skateboard in their room and as you can imagine hotel rooms do not offer you the freedom of movement that one requires when performing skateboard tricks. I’m almost certain that the deal was ‘we will do some skateboard tricks if you sing us one of your bands songs…’ (Challenge accepted.)
On the insistence of Booby Scooby we left put shoes in their room ( you cant ride a skateboard in heels) and we all stumbled downstairs to the pool/ beach area were there was less bedroom furniture and more skateboard appropriate materials. The tricks were mediocre at best. Who goes on a business trip and packs their skateboard when they aren’t even pro?
Feeling disappointed, sandy and tired we dragged ourselves back to the hotel room to fulfil our end of the bargain. Booby Scooby declared that we couldn’t possibly sing with sandy feet. So he led me to the bathroom, sat me in the side of the bath and proceeded to wash my feet. Yes he washed my feet but it wasn’t until Tilly burst into the room and demanded to know what was going on that it crossed my mind that this perhaps was a little strange. She made a Jesus type reference which ensured that I grabbed my feet back, I jumped out of the bath slid out of the room and we hot tailed it from the Skateboarding, foot fetished, South African hotel room.
In our haste we forgot to grab our shoes, just perfect. I’m sure that was his plan all along. If you can’t have feet have the next best thing… Shoes which feet have been in.
To this day whenever I look at my feet I still feel a little violated and I still do not like people touching my feet.
So unfortunately due to one bad experience I have drawn a line through the rock pool of South Africa and I will no longer be pursuing a career in music.